FUTURE ?

Came back from school after slacking at coffee shop
meet NBZ at home.
send her home and back homed

Face at my computer
doing nothing
writing rubbish here
Well my heart is in a mess
really big big mess

WTF is happening
had i think too much
but isint this is how i think i wonder?
Who gonna knows how i feel?
who seen me down before ?

i always hide myself
only when everythings reaches
my limit, it will blows
currently haven yet
hopefully it won't blow me out
i really felt uneasy

Theres alot alot alot alot alot alot of things i wanna say
phobias that grows in me is getting stronger
i wonder how can i stop this happening ...

i cant sleep
im feeling so numb now
what is a bruise on my toe?
that is nothing compare to the internal damage
i need physical pain
how i wish to get whack outside
chop by some idiots on street
got accident , strike by lighting
whatever it is.

i jsut cant fucking sleep .............